Karakuri Piero
by Y-0206
Summary: I kept on waiting... waiting like my life is ending... but you never came, and it's breaking me. [Songfic, Karakuri Piero by Hatsune Miku. You don't have to know the song, there are translations inside. Please read Arigatou!]


**You promised me to meet here  
(Machiawase wa)  
But 2 hours has passed  
(Ni jikan mae de)  
I'm here alone  
(Koko ni hitori)  
That is the answer, right?  
(Sore ga kotae desho)**

Today at 11am, _he_ was supposed to meet me here at the train station. _Was supposed... _but he never did. Two hours had passed, and I'm still waiting. It doesn't really matter to me on how long would I be left waiting, as long as he shows up, whatever the excuse, I'd accept it, cause it'd be fine for me... but he didn't, and it's obvious to me what his answer is. _He _chose _her._

**People walking by on the street  
(Machi yuku hito)  
Flowing clouds  
(Nagareru kumo)  
They were sneering at me  
(Boku no koto wo azawaratteta)**

I can't help but feel... _small..._ _helpless... stupid... _unlike the usual me. It's like every passer-by were glancing at me, laughing at the girl who lost the game. I could say the same to those floating clouds. I can see those joker faces on them, looking down on me with those amused eyes... it's scary...

**It was easy  
(Sore wa kantan de)  
And very difficult  
(Totemo konnan de)  
Though I need to admit it to go ahead  
(Mitomeru koto de mae ni susumeru no ni)  
I cannot believe it  
(Shinjirarenakute)  
I don't want to believe it  
(Shijitakunakute)  
I'm sure I'm just a pierrot to you, right?  
(Kimi no naka de kitto boku wa doukeshi nan desho)**

It had always seemed so easy, but will never be. I _knew _that if I'm just willing to let go, I can _definitely _live a better life. _If only _I just let go, forget and move on, in other words, accept whatever reality's throwing to me. Still, no matter how hard I try, I can't, no... I _refuse _to accept and believe! My mind simply rejects the fact and it hurts me both physically and mentally. Stupid, aren't I?

**I went around, went around and got tired from it  
(Mawatte mawatte mawari tsukarete)  
And my breath, my breath was run out  
(Iki ga iki ga kireta no)  
Yes, this is the sad end of me  
(Sou kore ga kanashii boku no matsuro da)  
Still without being able to make my way to you  
(Kimi ni tadoritsukenai mama de)**

I'm tired, truthfully. Tired of waiting... Years I've been constantly chasing after you, not bothering on taking even a mili-second of short break. I have needed to use so much energy to run to you who's moving so fast... that I'm running out of breath, but I reluctantly continue to run. Yet, I could never catch up to you. There were so many other roads, chances, that God had given me, but I stubbornly run and only run to you.

**The earth carries me and goes around  
(Boku wo nosete chikyuu wa mawaru)  
Pretending not to know, it goes around  
(Nani mo shiranai kao shite mawaru)  
Just for a second  
(Ichi byou dake)  
I held my breath  
(Kokyuu wo tomete)  
I couldn't say anything, and I stood still  
(Nani mo iezu tachisukumu boku)**

Still standing in a sea of people, I feel nauseous. My head's spinning, and I'm still wearing that stoic mask of mine. The one I learnt to hide my emotions since years back. All of a sudden, it became an alarm, waking me up from this never-ending nightmare. It snapped me out of my fantasy, it saved me from drowning. I realised, what was I doing all this time...? I couldn't get an answer from and for myself.

**It was a coincidence  
(Sore wa guuzen de)  
And it was fate  
(Soshite unmei de)  
I knew I should not know  
(Shiranai hou ga ii to shitteta no ni)  
I touched your warmth  
(Fureteshimatta no kimi no nukumori ni)  
By your smile  
(Sono egao de)  
By your gesture  
(Sono shigusa de)  
As I would be broken by them  
(Boku ga kowareteshimau kara)**

I took out my cellphone, ready to dial your number which I had set on my speed dial... I _couldn't _do it. I couldn't bring myself to do it, because for some reason, I knew that it was best if I did not do so. I remembered that rigid memory from when we were both younger. You saved me, gave me a reason to continue living. I loved your smile, and I still do. You may not realise it, but I watched every move you make... I love it, yet I hate it... Cause as much as they entertain me, they kill me, break me and destroy me. Why? Because they were never for me. Your smiles were always for _her. _Those red roses you plant at your backyard, they were for _her _not me. Every action you do, it's always for her sake, not mine.

**I go around, go around and get tired from it **  
**(Mawatte mawatte mawari tsukarete)**  
**And my breath, my breath will stop**  
**(Iki ga iki ga iki ga tomaru no)**  
**Changing, changing, changing**  
**(Kawatte kawatte kawatteyuku no ga)**  
**I'm just scared, scared of that**  
**(Kowai kowai dake na no)**  
**I'll quit waiting for you here**  
**(Mou yameta koko de kimi wo matsu no wa)**  
**It just makes me broken**  
**(Boku ga kowareteshimau dake da)**

Ever since she appeared, you've changed... and it's scary whenever I think about it, my heart, mind and soul would be crushed. That's why... I won't run anymore. I'm stopping. I give up. I surrender. I raise the white flag. I forfeit. She won. You would be happy. You both would be happy. You don't have to worry, cause if I continue waiting... I'll break for sure... I'll die standing... I won't be able to keep up with this emotionless facade anymore...

**I go around, go around and get tired from it**  
**(Mawatte mawatte mawari tsukarete)**  
**And my breath, my breath will stop**  
**(Iki ga iki ga tomaru no)**  
**Yes, I'm a pierrot you want**  
**(Sou boku wa kimi ga nozomu piero da)**  
**Just manipulate me as you want**  
**(Kimi ga omou mama ni ayatsutte yo)**

Finally... After all the holding back... I'm crying. I feel so weak, like my life is ending. yes, i will always follow you, so tell me now... what is your next decision? Cause I'm not waiting no more...


End file.
